Don't quit your day job

This past weekend my girlfriends and I took a trip to Sin City. Unfortunately, we did witness a few sins being committed. Not by us of course, but by one Joaquin Phoenix.
Apparently, a few months back, Mr. Phoenix announced that he was retiring from acting to pursue a career in music. Because of that announcement, we thought it was really cool when we found out that he was appearing at the club we were going to that night. After getting into the club, we patiently waited for the star to arrive. Soon, he arrived in true Hollywood fashion complete with paparazzi and herds of adoring women. So, in true stalker fashion, Lauren, Liz and I pushed our way through the crowd to find this gorgeous hunk of man:

Well, Joaquin didn't want to disappoint all his adoring fans. So, after a few minutes of hob-nobbing with the crowd, he proceeded to dazzle us with his musical talent.

...Joaquin, please don't quit your day job. Please.....Please.